Thankful
Hello. It’s been awhile.
I will not apologize for my absence – no,
not this time around, because believe it or not, I found who I am and what I
want to be. I found myself writing once again and I found myself enjoying it
all over again. I know I promised to go back, and here I am fulfilling my promise;
and I am ready for this new responsibility. I really am.
It’s almost Christmas. This season is my
favorite (who doesn’t?) and I am so happy that I get to spend the 17th
time around with the people I love. I often think how lucky I am to be born
from a very loving family, and sometimes I wish it would stay just the way it is.
But then, such requests seem so hard to fulfill at times, and before I knew it
I find myself hurting again.
The year wasn’t the best for me; I admit
that. It was filled with trials and pain, sweat and tears, disappointments and
broken promises, heartbreak and lost hope. But I realized, pain might be
inevitable, but so is joy. So is love.
For this year, I am thankful of many
things. First, I am thankful for another life to live – I often thought of how
dark would it be if I didn’t live, if
I didn’t feel anything, and sometimes curiosity get the most of me and such
thoughts would consume me; but a small ray of light would show me the beauty of
life, and I am thankful for that.
Second, I am thankful for chances given and
received. I am thankful for varieties; for varieties have hidden pros and that’s
what I live for; for surprises and hope. I may not be good in choosing, but God
knows how much I think of my choices. And I thank Him for even giving me ample
to choose.
Third, I am thankful for love. It surprises
me how at seventeen I am not yet as attached to the idea of love (if you know
what I mean) as the others. I often ask myself if there was something wrong
with me, if I am capable of loving; but I realized, love is to general for
that. There are many kinds of love and I know I have loved as much as I am
capable of. I know I have loved despite of the fact that I am alone. And I
thank for the people who have loved me back.
Fourth, I am thankful for literature. Okay –
I am going on full fangirl here. God knows how much literature helped me
survive this year. My babies, you know who you are. Thank you for (not
entirely) existing, but you know how much you mean to my conscious and my
subconscious.
And last, I am thankful for myself, I am
thankful for being me. If other people were in my shoes, they wouldn’t take it
as well as I did. I am strong, I know that. I might feel fear sometimes, but I
know it was I who got up once again.
And for the year ahead, I am ready for you.
I will welcome you with open arms. Come; take what’s left of me. I assure you,
I accept what you give to me. Because I have myself, and the people I love. We
would beat you down like 2015.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to
whoever is reading this. May you and your family be blessed this season.
PS. Shameless plugging. If you feel like reading an LOTR fanfic, go here.
PS. Shameless plugging. If you feel like reading an LOTR fanfic, go here.
